mood: unsure

Ever feel like your world doesn't make sense anymore? Like you thought you had it figured out but it turns out that you don't? I do. I try to ignore a lot of stuff, but some of it just can't be ignored. I wish it could be though. Life is unpredictable. It picks you up and then slams you back down. That's called reality. Hope? Does that exist anymore? It seems like that just sets you up for disappointment. But the funny thing is, it's not supposed to. They say "never lose hope". Ok, that's good advice, but let's change that a little bit. How about "be careful of how much hope you put into something." Don't set yourself up for heartbreak. Why is this post so negative you ask? It's not....it's truth. It's personal experience. It's life.

Ya know, I keep praying for signs, for guidance and for happiness. I know it won't come when I want it to, but I think I've waited long enough. This is my prayer: "God please help me. Help me figure out everything I need to. Help me make it through life. And help me know the difference between what's real and what's not. Just help me be happy again God, please. Amen." I don't believe that's too much to ask for is it? I'm going to say no. But that's just my opinion.

That's all for this post. TTYL <3

So it's 1:41 in the morning and I'm bored. Figured I'd do a little update. Well, sadly nothing has really changed. Still in school, still working, and still single..ugh!! fml right? And!!! I need to start saving some money to go to Greensboro in like 2 weeks. So I need to put like 30 from my next two checks away. Probably won't buy much, but just to get out of Roanoke for the day will be AMAZING!!! I definitely need a vacation. Spring break is next week, but I'm not going anywhere :( :( :( Was supposed to, but we're all broke. So now, i'm stuck here and working. and that is definitely an FML situation! So what's good about this week??? I'm going out with friends on saturday. It is much needed!! But ya know what? I think that's it for now...I have like a major headache!

TTYL <3

wow...it's been a long time.

Wow, so yea I haven't been on here in a very long time. I think I'm just going to stop promising to get on because it seems to never happen. So, what's happened with me in the past what....month? Well, still single...unfortunately. Still working and still going to school. Unfortunately I didn't get into the Radiography program at Western. Not sure if I mentioned it earlier, but I'm trying to become a Radiologist. Your GPA needed to be a 2.5 or higher at the end of the '09 semester. Mine was a 2.37 :( . But I'll just try again next year I suppose. But anyways!!!! Not really going to go into the relationship thing, because it still kinda hurts to talk about it. Because...yes...i still miss him and no I'm not completely over it.....

But that's all I'm going to say about that!!! So let's see...what else? Well, my best friend moves to Germany in less than 2 months :( and it just seems like everyone is leaving!! My other friend is leaving for Washington state when her husband comes back. Both of them have husbands in the military and that's where they are stationed. One of my other friends is thinking about going into the air force...and another IS going into the air force...I don't know. Just a lot of people leaving. And I'm still here. Trying to get through school and life for that matter. :sigh: I guess my life will have like a jump start one day. Just waiting for it is the problem. I'm not very patient.

Ok, how about something happy? My cousin (who's really more like my sister) had her baby at the end of January :D. Camden Charles DeMoss. Born January 29, and was 6 pounds 13 ounces. He's too precious!!! So I consider myself an AUNT not a cousin!!! My cousin and cousin-in-law are so happy to be parents and I know they will be great ones too.. I mean she's been practicing since we were kids..haha!

I guess that's it for now. Not too much happening. Again, not going to promise to try and get on here everyday. It'll just have to happen when it happens. But

TTYL <3

Working through it all

Ok,
So it's starting to sink in now. Ending a 3 year relationship is not easy. Especially when it's your first. :sigh: But it had to be done. There was just too much hurt going on. I really just want to find someone who will love me as much as i love them. Is it really too much to ask? I'm sure he's out there somewhere, just don't know where. Not going to go into detail on how it all happened, because i'd rather forget about it all. And when i say all i do mean ALL. :( I hoped it didn't get to that point, but it has.

So, how to move on is the next question. Everyone says to just surround yourself with friends and family. Just ones who love me and ones i love. It works during the day. But for some reason when i get alone my starts to wonder and it keeps going back to that and every question possible comes up. Why? how? when? how long? ....UGH!!!!

I just want to get to a point to where I can look back on it and be like....it was a good decision. Really need that time to come soon.

ttyl <3

HELLO EVERYONE!!!!
well it's 2010 and here is to a fresh start :D!! I'm single, i'm going to be focusing on school...and who knows? maybe later on down the road a new relationship ;) No more hurt, no more lies...none of it!! oh...and try to get on here more often..lol. So, how's about a little update :D

Well, like i said, i'm currently single. Didn't end very well, but ya know what...maybe everything does happen for a reason! I'm going to be a junior in college this year. I think im going to try to work on a nursing degree. I'd really like to get into the Radiography program, but we'll see how my gpa does. I'm going to try to get a job at the hospital like getting the people's information in and stuff like that. Because after 6 months, they will pay for your schooling to go back and get your degree. So we'll see how that goes.

As for relationships. I'll be taking it slow, but doesn't mean i'll say no to possibilities ;) I just want to find someone who will appreciate me and not treat me like i don't matter to them ya know? Who knows...maybe he's out there, but God just hasn't sent him my way yet. :crosses fingers: lol.

For right now, i'm just going to surround myself with my friends and family. Just all the people who love me and who i love. Whatever happens next is in God's hands!

Well, that's it for now :D

TTYL <3