Ok,
So let's talk about relationships. Unfortunately I just ended mine :'(. First one...yea..I'm 20 years old and have only had one boyfriend. But it did last 3 years. Yea anyways, so as you can imagine I am VERY upset :( :(. Why did it go wrong? A lot of reasons, but they are a bit too personal to share on here. So, I've only been with one guy in my entire life and I'm thinking life is looking a little suckish right now. Why? Because I still love him!!! Our relationship has been on and off for those 3 years. For some reason there seems to be something about him that I can't seem to stay away from. But every time I go back it seems like I end up getting hurt.....again. Yea, it's partially my fault for keep going back to it, but I also don't like empty promises. All I want is for someone to love me as much as I love them and to treat me with respect. I'm not asking to be treated like a queen or anything like that. Everyone says I need someone who will treat me like that...but I don't want it. I just want a decent guy who loves me no matter what. I'd also like it to be him, but it doesn't look like that will happen :(. On a side note, I'm also a Christian so I believe that God has a plan for me. Maybe he just wasn't part of it. Or maybe he just isn't supposed to be a part of it right now. I don't know, but I guess time will tell. A friend of mine, and also one of my managers at work, keeps telling me that if it's mean to be then it will come back to you. I believe that 100%. Maybe it will come back or maybe I'll find "the one" if he isn't it. I'm not going to lie, I am very afraid of dying alone. On another side note, I don't have the best confidence. It's something I've been working on for years and still haven't been able to boost it up too much.
Question. Is a relationship supposed to be something that you have to work for or something that just happens? My personal belief, something that just happens. Why? Because the two people should just be so much in love that everything is, not perfect, but pretty darn good. I know I'm young, but I'm not stupid. I do know what love is. I just want to find it. Part of me still hopes that it would be with him (not that I didn't love him before because I did..very much)
Anyways, I guess that's enough for right now. I'll update sometime on this subject.
TTYL <3
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Things will get better! It's only a matter of time. Also, to answer your question. Do you have to work at relationships/love? I think there's an equilibrium. I think there should be a balance. Of course it should come easy- why always have to work at the relationship? But no relationship is just always easy, there is work involved. :) I love your blog, and I look forward to the updates!
ReplyDeleteI dont know who that is above, but she said what your dear old cousin was going to say! I think your two scenarios of it just happenening and being right to working at all have to be equal! You will know when it is right, because God will help you see that... but, you also have to work on it! Zack and I didnt just get together one day and it was perfect! We had to get to know each other, see if we were compatible, make sure our families got along, and make sure we could love each other forever and not kill each other in the process :) It takes a lot to make a relationship work: communication, confidence in the other person, trust, and a commitment to make the other person happy... I think you are on the right track Kali and I think that time will heal your wounds and God will bring the right man into your life at just the right time! You are not going to die alone, I can promise you that! You are beautiful, fun, smart, and loving... you will not die alone! I cant wait to see what life brings for you and all our family as tiem goes on... And, I know I will be preparing for your bridal shower sooner than you know it :) It will be years from now, yes, but thats okay!!! You are young, live it up and enjoy it! Take time to know who you are and know what God wants you to do with your life and things will all come together! I promise! You have to love yourself first then let someone else come in and love you!!! K? I know one thing, I LOVE YOU! Im here if you need me :)
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